A toxic relationship is any relationship between people who
don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the
other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of
cohesiveness, according to Dr. Lilian Glass, a Californian-based communication
and psychology expert.
As the adage states, “You can’t have a heartbreak without
love” Sandra, whose dreams were shattered and heart broken into pieces like a
broken porcelain bowl, was seated in her mother’s favorite balcony wondering
how her life would have been if it were not for Mark her ex-boyfriend to
interfere with her life.
It was five years back when Mark cared so much for Sandra
whom by then she was a form four student at Elite Secondary School and Mark was
employed as a Pilot in one of the famous airport in their country. Whenever
Mark was in the country, he would occasionally visit the ‘Love of his life’
Sandra, pick her up from school and they would enjoy some splendid time together
especially in his home and when he wasn’t in the country, they would video chat
for long hours through their phones or the laptop that he brought for his love,
promising her the good life he would give her after completing her education
and get married together.
All this was fun and games until Sandra completed her
studies and passed with flying colors but passing never bothered her, all she
was thinking about was getting married to her hubby Mark, though this time
round the relationship was never the same as it used to be. Mark was never
caring and available for Sandra again, all in the name of ‘duty calls’. Sandra
was never happy in the relationship because what she wanted was not what she
got in return. She thought that the moment she finishes school she would spend
all the time with her boyfriend but unfortunately the tables turned abruptly.
Sandra wanted Mark’s time, attention, love and affection but
all Mark could offer to her was just money. The long phone calls turned into
“The user is now busy, please leave a voice message…”, and whenever Mark would
get back home, sex is all he wanted from Sandra then give her money afterwards.
Sandra would try to talk to him about her feelings but it all turned up into
arguments and misunderstandings, then either of them would later apologize and
life moved on.
This went on until one day when Sandra came home after
visiting her mother and caught Mark red handed romancing with another lady at
their living room. Sandra could not believe her eyes because she never suspected
Mark having an affair with other ladies. She was so furious and said that
enough was enough, she could no longer bear the burden again and so decided to
break up with Mark.
When God closes one door, he opens the next. Sandra was so
lucky that some months afterwards she found another man, Patrick with whom they
got into a fond relationship and was ready to marry her but hell broke loose
for Sandra when they both went for HIV test as Patrick had requested before
their marriage and Sandra’s results came out positive but that was not all, she
was also infected with an STI! “Mark!” Sandra screamed as tears rolled down her
chubby cheeks. This is how her marriage proposal to Patrick was doomed and she
was now all by herself and her mum who was the only person close to her.
BY BRIAN MRIRA



